Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Fake Affairs - Indian government's strategy to win more medals at the Olympics

1) Reservation - Reservation of medals and stopping the best from competing.
2) Price Hike - Making travel unaffordable for the other medal prospects.
3) Coalition & Kalmadi - Forming a coalition group at the Games so that nothing gets done and let Kalmadi head everything so that everything falls apart. (Corruption and graft is a given)
4) Peas and Bhupathi – Let them conduct a seminar on team spirit and national pride.
5) Indian Football – A motivational video from the Indian Football Team to inspire the athletes.
6) Mamta Banerjee – A demo on conflict resolution. (Need I say more?)
7) Air India and Indian Airlines – A case study on excuses and justifications.
8) Sharad Pawar – A session on multitasking (Yeah, and ruining everything)
9) Monsoon – If anything goes wrong blame the monsoon. (Had the gold, but alas, the Monsoon)
10) Anna Hazare and Baba Ramdev– Threaten the athletes with dharna outside their homes if they don’t win a medal.
11) Rahul Gandhi – Will visit all the athletes personally. (Let’s hope this works this time at least).
12) Dhoble Uncle – Mr. Dhoble will personally accompany the athletes on any parties they attend if they don’t win a medal as per the law of 1960 BC. (Videography will be a must)
13) Cricket  - Let all sports be allowed but only if it has something to do with Cricket. (Let Sachin and Yuvraj compete in all of them )
14) Dhoni and Saurav – They should captain all the events.  (Saurav as mentor only though)
15) Manmohan and Advani – Make Manmohan Singh the Chief PR Officer and Advani the Yatra Chief. (Rath is optional).

Note: Offense intended but not meant.

No comments: